JudyBug's Books. JudyBug's Books BLOG Columbus Georgia's Independent Bookstore.

Here we go again...can you hear it? Can you smell it? Can you see it? Yep, what with halloween on it's way, Christmas is starting to rear it's commercial head. I'm already tired of new-age and muzak versions of 'Chestnuts,' and 'Jingle Bells.' Sad thing is that I don't even know if I've actually heard any carols yet, but, I have already seen the fabulously fake firs. And, being as pavlovian as I am, I've gotten some of them stuck in my head. Hey...' Ring a bell and I'll salivate, How'd you like that...' It's going to be a long season for Mr. Alek. Thank God I don't work in radio anymore. Anyway, that means movies for the holidays, some even adapted from some very fine books, indeed. So let's take a look at some of the books, shall we. Someone's got to play Mr. Rogers.

Right off the bat...'Running With Scissors,' by Augusten Burroughs. This movie opened Friday, October 20th. It, however, did not open everywhere, to include our fair city of Columbus, which is just wrong. After all, Isn't Columbus the home to Carmike Cinemas? Come on Carmike, get your act together, a lot of columbusites were planning on seeing that movie opening weekend, to include myself. What happened? A lot of columbusites went to BlockBuster Video instead. I know I did.

Okay, back to the book. 'Running With Scissors' is a memoir of Augusten Burroughs and his highly dysfuntional adolescence. I'm talking about putting the 'dysfunction' in dysfuntional. And, trust me on this one, I probably understand dysfunctional more than most. After all, My mother did put a lid on my crib when I was just a rat. I'm not certain, but I do believe at that point it ceases to be a crib and becomes a cage. Explains a little about me, doesn't it? Back to Augusten, his mother, Dierdre, is an inspirational poet on the verge (or so she thinks) of making it big and becoming the star that she so deserves to be. She's also a ridiculous chain smoker, not that I have anything against smoking, but, wow, you can almost smell the tar and nicotine on the pages. Dierdre is seeing a psychiatrist, because that's what everybody did back in the seventies, it was the open and emotional decade, the decade of Alan Alda and Woody Allen. Long story short (or at least this part of it) Dierdre divorces her husband, perpetual drunk and college instructor, and gives Augusten to her psychiatrist, Dr. Finch. So, 'Running With Scissor's' is the story of Augusten Burroughs growing up in the Finch household. Definitely not a doorstep that I would ever deign to darken.

As a result of life in the Finch household (Dr. Finch has got to be the worst psychiatrist in the history of psychiatrists. He makes Freud's oral fixations, phallus fixation, Oedipel complex, cocain and cigar addiction, and the fact that no one was ever cured, look like standard operating procedure.) Augusten grows up a pill popping, pot obsessed, soon to be alcoholic, fifteen year old pedophelic boyfriend of a thirty-something year old named Neil Bookman. And 'Running With Scissors' is the story of how Augusten got to be this way.

A true 'tragi-comedy' in every sense of the word, and not always for the faint of heart, or weak of stomach. It's very graphic in some places, very gay in parts, revolting in here and there, just plain unbelievable in others, and is told rather matter-of-factly.

Is 'Running With Scissors' worth reading? Although it has flaws and does not really resolve itself well in the end, I would still say "Yes." Which is why I continue to stock it in my shoppe, and recommend it to many, but not to all. If you enjoy David Sedaris, then you will most likely enjoy Augusten Burroughs. My favourite thing about 'Running With Scissors' was that it lead me to Burroughs' second memoir, 'Dry,' which is a much better book, but would not have been entirely believable If I had not read 'Running With Scissors.'

Another movie due out for the holiday season, and let's hope that our beloved Carmike Cinemas actually brings this one to Columbus, is 'Perfume: The story of a Murderer.' This movie comes from a novel with the same name. Well, kind of, anyway. Written in 1986 by Patrick Suskind in german, presumably in Germany as well, under the name 'Das Parfum,' this novel was translated into english and won the 1987 World Fantasy Award for best novel. Bear in mind, I first read 'Perfume...' back in 1987, and it was then, and is still today, one of my favourite novels. Not only is 'Perfume...' exceptionally well-written (well-translated if you want to be picky) it is also a unique story. The story of Jean-Baptiste Grenoulle, and his passion.

In the slums, literally the slums, like the textbook definition of the slums, a bastard child is born and abandoned in one fell swoop. Fortunately, the child is discovered and the mother is arrested, 18th century DFACS to the rescue. The child, who is to become Jean-Baptiste Grenoulle, is given to the monks as a charity case, but he's weird, and they don't want him. I promise that one day I will write about a book that does not involve a weird little boy. seriously, I have read hundreds and hundreds of books, most of which do not involve weird children. Although, at one point I did have well over five hundred different illustrated versions of 'Alice's Adventures In Wonderland,' which doesn't bode well with my most recent theory. Anyway, this kid doesn't smell right, and is very greedy when it comes to his milk, remember...18th century...wetnurses...do the math. So Grenoulle gets passed from home to home, ending up in the service of a leather tanner. This is where Grenoulle contracts anthrax. And, this was the point in my life where I learned that anthrax is a leather tanner's disease, for lack of a better word, and not just reserved for terrorists.. Anyway, Grenoulle survives the anthrax and is now ugly and scarred as well as weird. Lucky Grenoulle.

I haven't yet told you what makes Grenoulle weird. Although he has no smell of his own, Grenoulle was born with the absolute sense of smell. Like a mole, he can see with his nose. Grenoulle lives in a world or scents and odours. 'Perfume...' is the story of Grenoulle's pursuit for the perfect scent. Okay, I know, that sounds kind of thin for a plot. but, it is anything but that. Once Grenoulle snares a whiff of the most exquisite scent, he must possess it. Obsessed, Grenoulle follows the scent until he finds the source. Guess what? The source is a beautiful, young, red haired virgin, because nothing else would do. And here is where the murder part happens.

Sound odd? Well... it is different. But it is amazing, and the reviews for the movie have, so far, been favourable, with the exception that the guy playing Grenoulle is not ugly enough. Really, just how hard is it to find an ugly person in Hollywood? I had some ugly friends when I was going to school out there. They could have phoned me, I would have given them their numbers. I'm sure they needed the work.

So there you have it. Two books, two movies for the holidays. In October, before Halloween. Go figure. I'm sure it makes sense somewhere in the world. Kind of like it's five o'clock somewhere in the world. I have mentioned I like my dry reds, haven't I?

Normally, when one of my quirky, somewhat friends (more of an acquaintence, really) tells me that there is a book out there that I really should read, I kind of take it with the proverbial grain of salt. Well, Austin (NOT Chef Austin) came into the shoppe and told me that I would probably enjoy the author Jonathan Safran Foer. "Who is Jonathan Safran Foer?" I asked. "He's the guy who wrote 'Everything is Illuminated,'" Austin replied. Granted I own a bookstore, I don't know everything, and every book, and every author, and I didn't know Jonathan Safran Foer, or 'Everything is Illuminated,' so he could just as easily have answered, 'elephant, big bird, jimmy-jimmy,' and made as much sense. I'm sorry. I really do try. I know I should know everything, but I don't. I guess I just enjoy dry reds too much. And while we're tangenting, I'm not a psychologist, contrary to popular belief. Okay, I'm getting nowhere with Austin, so I look up Foer's catalogue, and there it is, 'Everything is Illuminated,' along with 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.' After a few more minutes of random conversation, it is decided that I will start with 'Extremely..,' because starting with the author's second book, the one that hasn't won any awards, made no sense what-so-ever. Oddly, this is how my life works. You know, I don't even know if I like the world I live in, or if I'm just too dysfunctional to live in any other world as a result of spending too many years in this one. Tragic? Yes, but funny as well.
So, here goes...

'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' is the story of Oskar Schell, age nine, and his search for a lock. A simple premise, yet not so simple. Oskar lost his father in the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Towers. Six months after his father's death, Oskar discovers a vase on the top shelf of the closet in his father's study. And this is odd, because Oskar is a weird little boy.

I was never able to figure out for certain, but there is something wrong with Oskar. He's pretty much a genius, especially to be only nine years old. He's an inventor, a jewelry designer, and he knows the most obscure facts and histories of just about everything. Oskar is also exceptionally precocious, yet has social inadequacies. He is fearless, yet refuses to take public transportation, he will not ride in elevators, go above a certain number of floors, cross bridges, or do any number of daily routines that one is expected to do in Manhattan. I guess I should have mentioned that Oskar lives in Manhattan, so that the public transportation, elevator, floor numbers, and bridges thing might make more sense. It's almost as if Oskar is an autistic savant, but something tells me he's not. He lists what emotion he's feeling at the time in a book, crossing out the one before. He keeps a book of 'stuff that's happened to me' filled with pictures printed off his computer. He gives himself bruises when he's done something wrong or stupid. He counts his lies. When he's depressed, he has heavy boots. When things are good, they're a hundred dollars. So, I'm guessing he goes to a school for the weirdly gifted and emotionally challenged. Another odd little thing, Oskar writes to famous people (he even sent Ringo Starr a pair of bullet proof drumsticks that he invented) and when things get to be 'too much' he re-reads a Stephen Hawking form letter he has memorized. I told you that Oskar was a weird little kid.

Okay, back to the story. Oskar discovers a vase on the top shelf of a closet in his Dad's study. This is weird, because it's the sort of thing that Oskar would not have overlooked all this time. Inside the vase is an envelope with the word 'black' written in blue ink, and inside the envelope is a key.

'Extemely Loud & Incredibly Close' is the story of Oskar Schell's search throughout New YorkCity for the lock that takes the key that he has found, by visiting every person in New York City with the last name 'Black.'

'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' is also the story of a man who can not/will not talk, who's in love with a girl named Anna, but marries her sister instead. And (yes, I know, yet another 'and') it's the story of Oskar's Grandmother.

Not a difficult read, but a challenging one that is tough in places, as it is three different stories, narrarated from three different voices, all in first person. Now, Oskar's story is told sequentially, whereas the other two narratives are told out of sequence. And all three stories are shuffled together. If this doesn't get confusing enough at times, there are also blank pages, pages of nothing but numbers, pages of scribbles, corrected pages, pages from a mute's notebook, pages that are utterly and completely illegible, along with the fact that you have go back and forth...a lot.

All in all, 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' is an amazing read that will take you into the mind of Oskar Schell and the hearts and homes of New York City. You'll witness first hand the Dresden FireBombings, the nuclear strike on Hiroshima, the attacks upon the World Trade Towers. "Extremely...' is a story of love, a story of betrayal and abandonment, a story of obsession, and many stories of pain and heartache.

'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' Is the story of Oskar Schell and his search for a lock that he hopes his key will unlock, so that he can find out exactly how his father died, so that he can, finally, stop inventing all the ways his father could have died.

'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close' is the story of Oskar Schell...Inventor.. who does not want to be hospitalized.

While I was reading this novel. I was thinking that it was one of the more enjoyable books I had read in a few years. Upon completion, it turned out to be one of the best novels I have read...ever.

I guess there was a reason why I started with the second novel.

Thanks Austin...my quirky friend.